Bad things happen to good people, children

Having a large extended family is great on holidays and birthdays.  The horrible part of having such a large extended family?  Their deaths.

My dad has 8 siblings, and my mom has 13.  Each of my aunts and uncles have healthy amounts of children of their own, who in turn have 5+ children each, like good procreating Catholics.

Leo Saavedra, 4-years-old

This morning, I received a 5 am wake-up call that my 4-year-old nephew passed away from asthma complications. He had fluid in his lungs and they couldn't do anything to save him.  Over Easter, my 25-year-old cousin kicked the bucket suddenly.  These things come in threes, so I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Who's next?

Sometimes, I wish I didn't have feelings.  It would make going through life a heck of a lot easier.  Maybe then events such as these would not affect me so much.

When bad things happen to good people, it makes me sad.  When bad things happen to children, I just lose hope.

For the Love of Animals

My son has a heart of gold, and I am not just saying that because I am his mom. 

He makes sure no one is left out, shares his goodies without anyone asking, and has been known to continuously donate the balance of his fun money to Toys for Tots during the Christmas season.

The compassion he feels for the living does not just concentrate on the human population either, it transcends to animal life as well.

Any television show or movie we watch where an animal is hurt, or God forbid DIES, he has been known to shed a tear (the younger he was he bawled his eyes out – but don’t tell him I told you so).  Not just the furry dogs either; he cares for chickens and frogs just the same.

So while driving this morning on our way to an appointment, it came as no surprise when my son jumped out of his seat at the sight of road kill and cried out, “What’s that?! A raccoon?”

I glanced at my rearview mirror and a saw some kind of flat, furry animal on the road.  My specialty is not zoology, so I supposed it could be a raccoon, but I was not sure.

Accepting my answer, my son sat watch to make sure no other car ran over the poor creature’s body, including “drunk drivers.”  As we drove off he turned and said, “I hope it gets medical attention.”

Ah, time for a mom moment.  I could let him go on believing that the blood and guts all over the street were invisible, but since his occupation of choice is currently a veterinarian, I decided it was time for a reality check. 

“Um, buddy, I hate to break it to you, but I’m pretty sure it’s dead.”

He was quiet for a moment, then looked back wistfully and said, “Well, I hope at least someone picks it up so it can be buried.”

See what I mean?  Heart of gold that kid.

Baseball for Dummies

"Ice cream cone!" My son shouted, as the baseball I caught barely made it into my glove.  I shrieked as another ball came barreling towards me.  I dashed after another, huffing and puffing, and stretched my arm out to grab at it. 

This baseball season has been odd for me.  My 10-year-old is on another new team, and I am the one left who can practice with him.  Grandpa has too much on his plate and dad's work schedule has not been ideal.  That leaves me trying to improve my son's game, and not ruin it, with my limited knowledge of the sport.

This is how I ended up practicing with my son on a sunshiny day…wearing jeans.  I did not think this one through, as I was sweating like a hog.  However, once I had my rhythm, I was really enjoying myself.  I had forgotten how much fun baseball is.

Even though the season is almost over, and football will be next on our list, we can still throw the ball around and retain the arm for next year.  My expertise is not really needed, as the very nice lady who was watching us said, “You two did very well.  Good job mom.”

So, even though you may not know a thing about a sport, don’t let that keep you from attempting it.  I figure I may have a season or two left where I can still practice with my child, then it is sayonara mama.  And that sweaty, dirty grin I received from my son?  Definitely worth the pain I will be feeling the next day on my sore, sore arm.
 

Mean Girls

cinemanow.com

I thought being cruel stopped once you became an adult, but I guess I was wrong. You know that movie Mean Girls? Well, those girls grow up to be Mean Moms.

Since I became a mom, I have attended several sporting events that have given me a front row seat to the atrocious behavior of some parents.

You hear all the time of kids throwing tantrums and such, but it's no wonder considering the way some parents behave!

I attended several baseball games this weekend, all for the kids. While I was delighted to hear encouraging words, I did happen to catch an unpleasant incident.

I was seated on some bleachers with my daughter when a young boy of about 7 came by with a bright red ball.  You could tell he was from the other team because he was wearing their uniform, he was just a younger player.  His pants were on inside-out and he was filthy from playing in the dirt. He was absolutely adorable, with sunny yellow hair and bright blue eyes full of mischief. 

And full of mischief he was.  He was in and out of the bleachers, tossing his ball around and nearly hitting a couple of us.  After being shooed away he was digging in the dumpster, goodness knows what treasures he was looking for.  His enthusiasm made me smile.

He was bored with that pretty soon, and found his way back underneath the rickety bleachers.  He was weaving in and out until some potato chips on the ground caught his eye, and he promptly shoved them in his mouth.

"No honey, it's dirty on the floor." I said, as I simultaneously heard laughter behind me.

"Oh my God, did you see that?!" I heard them say, "That's so gross!"  They continued to comment and giggle as the poor child looked up at them.  You'd think that would shut them up.  If I could hear them, then he definitely could. 

If you could have seen the look in his eyes, you'd know I'm not  just being touchy.  Maybe the kid was just hungry and was eating whatever food was available to him, no need to talk about him like he's not there.

My daughter asked me why those ladies were laughing at the boy, and even that didn't stop them.  Not until a man came over and called for the boy did they shut up. 

I don't know why that touched a nerve so much, I guess because I thought about how awful they might treat a child when no one is around.  Guess some people don't lose the mean gene, huh? 

Stress

Even as a 9-year-old, stress can get the best of us.  This is why I was not shocked when my daughter had a meltdown this morning in the grocery store.  Embarrassed?  Oh yeah, but not surprised. 
 
You can always tell when the pressure is building.  Maya is wound very tight, and when she is stressed she is short with people.  She puts a lot of pressure on herself to be perfect and has mini-panic attacks.
 
So with all this stuff hanging over her head:  oral country report with a food sample due, field trip money due, chores and homework to be done, plus basketball….if she can’t do it all now, how will she be prepared for life???
 
These are not my thoughts, they are hers.  For whatever reason, she is worried about how she will afford an apartment on her own and be able to budget, and with good reason.  Look at the mess the U.S. is in economy-wise. 
 
All I can tell her is to be prepared as much as you can.  Savings are great.  Budgets help you reach your goals.  Be prepared and all that.  I suppose it does not help when your mother procrastinates, but she’s a trouper.  That is her weakness:  the things she can’t control. 
 
So when her brother attempted to help her bag groceries this morning, well, that’s the stick that broke the camel’s back.  She threw a fit like a 2-year-old, “CRIS!  DON’T TOUCH THEM – I’M BAGGING!”
 
Her brother had enough sense to roll his eyes and say, “Maya, I’m only trying to help.” 
 
She calmed down enough to go out to the car, but I let her know that her behavior was not acceptable.  I understand she needed an outlet for her stress, but that was not it. 
 
Being the awesome parents we are, my husband and I have a plan of action.  We know what she needs: a stress-free day where there is nothing to do but what MAYA wants to do.  And that’s what she’ll get, after we lay out expectations and healthy ways to de-stress. 

Peanut, The Toddler

As a parent, the terrible twos SUCK.  Since my household is toddler-free, I have more tolerance for their free spirit.  The little imps happen to be my favorite age group!  I love having the 2-3 year old kids in my life come over: they are full of life, raring to go and everything they see is super cool.  They notice and appreciate everything, even the lint from their belly button.  I should know, I watched as Peanut picked it out and showed it to me this morning. 

As you may have guessed, Peanut the Toddler graced us with her presence today, courtesy of a dentist appointment.  I was comatose as her mom dropped her off.  I so wanted to slap the chipper off her face, but I hadn't had my coffee yet, so I could barely even say hello.  Watching TTH hover made me giggle inside; it reminded me of my younger mom days when I didn't want to leave my kids for anything.  Now they're lucky to even get walked to the baby sitter's door!

Like all children that came before her, Peanut had no problem fitting into our sanctuary.  She ran around, threw every spherical object she could get her hands on and giggled at everything the older kids were doing.  She pet the cat, shied away from the toddler dog, and babbled incoherently about this and that.  All in all, a pretty awesome morning.

Of course, TTH was probably having a heart attack leaving her baby in a new place, so she came and picked her up after 3 hours.  Seeing as poor Peanut had 4 people and 2 pets to entertain, this was not nearly enough time.  Perhaps I can bribe her haggard mother to leave her a little bit longer next time?  I think I smell a date night coming up...

Parenting

I'm either a good parent or a bad one.  Since there is different styles of parenting, it really depends on your views and how you choose to bring up your children.  The way I see it, you cannot decide where your children go in the world.  Once they're of age, the choices are theirs.  The best you can do is teach them what will help them along their path and hope for the best.  This is why I'm such a relaxed parent. 


My daughter likes watching scary movies, my son likes playing video games like Modern Warfare.  They're free to use what words they like, as long as they don't hurt feelings.  (Calling someone fat then saying, "No offense." is NOT allowed.  Jerks tried to get it through with that loophole).  Our favorite pasttime is throwing up the middle finger (just not at crazy drivers). 

That does not mean there are no rules or consequences in my home.  One weekend after lunch, I spent THREE HOURS waiting for my daughter to clear the table and unload/reload the dishwasher.  Three hours for something that should have only taken 15 minutes tops.  After all the whining and fit-throwing, she realized she was not going anywhere until she did her chore AND because of all the attitude, part of her allowance was taken away.  Why?  Because she took MY valuable time...and just because I said so :)

Didn't you just love when your parents used the "because I said so" line?  It's my favorite.  I made you, so what I say goes.  All this explaining why you have to do things?  I'm being nice to you.  When I give you options?  I'm being nice to you.  You think you have a say in how your life goes, really?  I make the bucks so the final decision is MINE.

You know why kids think the world revolves around them?  Why they think they deserve everything?  Maybe, just maybe, it's because they're every whim is being indulged.  My mom yelled, screamed, gave us the occasional spanking and let us kids know that it was her world and her rules.  I learned there was a consequence for every action: if I didn't do my chores - ass beating; if I did do my chores - I got to live another day.  And you know what?  I'm a better person for it.  I learned RESPONSIBILITY.

My kids pretty much can do what they want AFTER all their chores are done.  They've learned that the faster you get your shit done, the faster you can have your own time.  What happens if it's not done?  It doesn't go away, it just piles up.  I'm not doing it!  The weekends when you should be relaxing and having fun?  Say good-bye to all the fun because I'm working you like a mule!