Saturday, January 8, 2011

Parenting

I'm either a good parent or a bad one.  Since there is different styles of parenting, it really depends on your views and how you choose to bring up your children.  The way I see it, you cannot decide where your children go in the world.  Once they're of age, the choices are theirs.  The best you can do is teach them what will help them along their path and hope for the best.  This is why I'm such a relaxed parent. 


My daughter likes watching scary movies, my son likes playing video games like Modern Warfare.  They're free to use what words they like, as long as they don't hurt feelings.  (Calling someone fat then saying, "No offense." is NOT allowed.  Jerks tried to get it through with that loophole).  Our favorite pasttime is throwing up the middle finger (just not at crazy drivers). 

That does not mean there are no rules or consequences in my home.  One weekend after lunch, I spent THREE HOURS waiting for my daughter to clear the table and unload/reload the dishwasher.  Three hours for something that should have only taken 15 minutes tops.  After all the whining and fit-throwing, she realized she was not going anywhere until she did her chore AND because of all the attitude, part of her allowance was taken away.  Why?  Because she took MY valuable time...and just because I said so :)

Didn't you just love when your parents used the "because I said so" line?  It's my favorite.  I made you, so what I say goes.  All this explaining why you have to do things?  I'm being nice to you.  When I give you options?  I'm being nice to you.  You think you have a say in how your life goes, really?  I make the bucks so the final decision is MINE.

You know why kids think the world revolves around them?  Why they think they deserve everything?  Maybe, just maybe, it's because they're every whim is being indulged.  My mom yelled, screamed, gave us the occasional spanking and let us kids know that it was her world and her rules.  I learned there was a consequence for every action: if I didn't do my chores - ass beating; if I did do my chores - I got to live another day.  And you know what?  I'm a better person for it.  I learned RESPONSIBILITY.

My kids pretty much can do what they want AFTER all their chores are done.  They've learned that the faster you get your shit done, the faster you can have your own time.  What happens if it's not done?  It doesn't go away, it just piles up.  I'm not doing it!  The weekends when you should be relaxing and having fun?  Say good-bye to all the fun because I'm working you like a mule!